The Not So Subtle Art of Complaining

I have some things to get off my chest today.

Dear Fed-Ex,
I know you had my parcel on your van for delivery today because I’m tracking it on your website.  Did you try to deliver it when I was out?  Because if you did, a card through the door with a number that I can call to re-arrange a delivery at a time that might be slightly convenient for me rather than me just having to stay in for the next three days on the off-chance that you might turn up would be nice.  Do you know what it’s like being forced to stay in with two small children?

Dear the girl,
If you don’t stop alternatively totally blanking me or tutting at me then you are going to be spending a LOT of time in your bedroom.  You’re 4, not 14.  There’ll be plenty of time for that sort of behaviour when you’re older.

Dear the boy,
When I put you down for your day-time nap I do not expect to come up to you an hour later to find you standing at the end of your cot, with your pyjama trousers off, having turned your light on.  You’re never going to get to sleep like that are you?

(while I think about it, Dear the husband,
Is there anyway we can move the boy’s cot so he can’t reach his light switch?  I think probably not but you have much better spatial awareness than me.)

Dear lady in the “extra big for parents to take their children in to get changed” cubicle at the swimming pool,
It’s a cubicle for getting changed in with small children, not a waiting room.  Go and wait for your friend somewhere else.

Dear Rude Health,
Thank you so much for your quick and helpful response to my somewhat tetchy email to you about saying something is “no nuts” when it’s not “no nuts” because of potential contamination issues that you yourself highlight on the back of the packaging. In small letters.  And thank you for letting me know that you’re going to change your front label to read “no nut recipe”.  Domino’s Australia could learn a lot from you.  I can’t eat your muesli because of the boy but I will recommend you to all and sundry.  Can I just say as well, you are going to irritate quite a few people with the autoplaying video on your home page.  Give people a choice about whether or not they will watch it.

Dear Fruit Flake People,
I’ll deal with you when you’ve responded to my letter, but it had better be good as I’m mightily unimpressed at the moment.

Dear Mr Sainsbury,
Thank you for having your security cameras and their screens set up in such a way that my daughter can stand in front of a television and see herself in it.  You’ll never know how many “near the end of the big weekly shop” tantrums you’ve stopped.

I think that’s all for now.  Thanks for listening.

Soup or Teddy

No, not some kind of weird ultimatum.  Honest.

I was going to show off tell you about the really lovely leek and potato soup I made and had for lunch with freshly home-baked bread – are you jealous yet?  No?

How about now?  Chop up leeks and potatoes, put into a saucepan with vegetable stock, simmer for 20 mins, whizz in food processor and hey presto, really yummy soup.

The husband was putting the boy to bed while I was reading the girl’s bedtime story this evening.  I could hear some thumping but decided it would be safer to ignore it.

The husband came into the girl’s room and announced that the boy wanted to know where his blue bear was.

To fill you in, we recently switched him (the boy, not blue bear or the husband) from sleeping bags to duvet and pillow, at his request.  His cot was looking quite crowded with the eight bears (I say bears, there are 3 bears, 1 Bob the Builder, 2 pink rabbits and couple of others that I can’t name right now) and the small plastic dog he has scattered around the head of the cot.  Two of his bears are very similar looking so I hid one of them to make it a bit less cluttered.  This was about a week ago and suddenly, today, he remembered it.  He demanded it back with menaces so I caved in and fished it out of the dark recess I’d hidden it in.  I know, bad mummy for taking his beloved bedtime companion, but really – how many bears does a boy need?

A Sporting Chance

I haven’t taken many photo’s this weekend.

This weekend is the first weekend of this year’s Six Nations.

It’s not often that I follow a sporting event from start to finish (athletics, the olympics, football, all leave me cold, although I do like a bit of golf – it’s Peter Alliss that does it for me) but I really enjoy rugby and I find myself drawn to the six nations competition every February.  This year, I’m hoping to actually watch some of it!  The girl and the boy are more than able to entertain themselves for short periods of time so I reckon I could watch half of each game easily.  I started off well this weekend – I caught some of the Ireland v Italy game yesterday, all of the England v Wales game in the evening, by taping it and watching it after they’d gone to bed, and a fair amount of the Scotland v France game this afternoon.  I am a happy woman.

This, by the way, is the official drink of the rugby 6 nations in this house which might also go some way to explaining why I’m feeling quite cheery this evening.

(hmm, desperate for a photo?)

Party, Party, Party

The girl has been to lots of parties lately.  Most of her friends at the moment are the children of people that became my friends when we were doing our ante or post natal classes/groups.  December to February is our main party season, although I think that will change when she goes to school in September.  I have no problem with that, a bit of a gap between parties will be good for us all.

Her last party of the season was today.  She had a fabulous time as usual and came home with a biscuit she had decorated herself, and her face painted.  In the car, about to leave to go home, the girl asked if she could share her biscuit with the boy (I had just pointed out how big it was and how I didn’t think she should eat it all in one go – she wasn’t being purely altruistic).  Fortunately we also realised that she’d left a mask she’d made at the party so I had to go back and get it, giving me an opportunity to ask the hostesses mum if the biscuit was safe for the boy.  Turns out it had almonds in it so no, no biscuit for him.

The girl was amazingly grown up and, being aware of what will happen if the boy eats nuts, said that I could put the biscuit into a tin until she and I were at home alone and she could eat it without risking his health.  I was proud, both of her and of how we as a family are managing to handle his life threatening allergy.

Then she casually mentioned to me that she’d had a peanut butter sandwich at the party and I started to shake and feel sick.  We might be handling it well as a family, but I guess I’m not personally doing as well as I thought.

Dancing

I take the kids to a dance class on a Friday morning.  Actually, calling it a dance class is bigging it up a bit.

It’s aimed at children aged 2 to 5 but it’s perfect for 3 to 4 year olds.

They do 3 or 4 little dances then spend some time taking turns at waiting for a hoop or a ribbon or some bells that they then get to shake in some other poor toddlers face (learning to wait your turn is key and I’m not knocking this – I have watched both of mine develop patience.  Well, at the dance class anyway).

It’s dressed up as a fun learning experience for tots.

In reality, while the kids do love it, most of the mums use it as an hour’s free childcare so they can have a good gossip with a mate (most of them bring a coffee with them).  I spend the hour trying to take pictures of just my children in a poorly lit church hall full of other children so I suppose I’m just as bad as the other mum’s in that I’m hoping someone else will entertain my children.  But at least I’m being quiet and paying attention.

Besides, look how happy they look.

Take On Me

I’ve found an app that allows me to go all “a-ha” on my iPhone.  When I say “a-ha” I do of course mean that dodgy eighties Norwegian pop group, not Alan Partridge.

Anyway, here’s the husb pretending to be Morten Harket.  Actually he was ignoring me because whatever he was trying to do wasn’t working, but I had failed to take a picture at that point and he was the only person in the house sitting still.

Love

I am learning to love my iPhone camera.

I’ve been inspired by Kerry at Cloud of Starlings who is doing a 365 using only photo’s taken on her iPhone. She’s posted some really stunning pictures of which this and this are among my favourites.

So, I decided to download a few apps and try and use mine a bit more.

Typical that today the lighting and the boy were just right for grabbing some pics on the phone without having to use any apps at all.

We went to meet the husband for lunch at his workplace (yes, eating out again and not at McDonalds this time – go us).  He left his phone cover on the table so the boy grabbed it and proceeded to make some pretend phone calls.

I’d love to know what he was buying/selling (hairclips*, maybe?).

Also, as his mother, am I allowed to point out how flippin’ gorgeous he is?

* since I took the picture with the fairy dress he’s started demanding hair ornaments on a daily basis.  The girl is not happy as it’s always her hair ornaments he demands.

Stripey

I was going to make some clever comment about how the girl dressed herself this morning and could you tell?

and then I looked at the boy, he didn’t dress himself.

I may be more influential than I first thought.

Decisions, Decisions

Mummy, shall I be Rambo today?

Or Rudolph*?

*Nureyev, not the Red Nosed Reindeer, in case you were wondering

My Husband

makes the best yorkshire puddings ever.

3oz plain flour
1 egg
3fl oz water
2fl oz milk
salt and pepper

chuck all the ingredients into a bowl and whisk until blended.

Put an oven dish (you can either do one big yorkshire pudding or use a muffin tin to make individual ones) with some oil in it into the oven at 230 C and allow to heat for 5 minutes. Pour in the batter and cook for 30 minutes.

I do exactly the same  as him and they never come out as well – I have no idea why!

If you want to make toad in the hole, put your sausages into the oven dish and bake them for 10 minutes before adding the batter and cooking for 30 minutes. If you want to, you can use cocktail sausages and the muffin tin to make individual toad in the holes.