Today has been a bit of a learning experience.
What I previously thought were tantrums from the girl and the boy weren’t. They were just losing their rag a bit because they weren’t getting what they wanted. I realise now that I have had an easy ride with their temperaments so far.
I also worked out today that the old adage “let sleeping dogs lie” applies to little boys as well. No matter how near bedtime it is. No matter how hungry I think he might be if he doesn’t have his tea.
Today was the day I learnt that a proper tantrum is scary for both of us. It is uncontrolled and uncontrollable. There was nothing I could do but ride it out and try to stop him from hurting himself as he hit himself repeatedly in the head and kicked things while screaming in a voice that I would expect to come out of a demon, not a small child.
It’s has been a tough week for the boy. He’s been waking up early (anytime between 5am and 6am) and missed his afternoon sleep on Tuesday. Unfortunately he missed it today as well. Thursday is always busy with nursery until 1pm and then ballet at 2.30. By the time I’ve picked up from nursery and got home it’s too late for him to have a decent sleep before we have to get ready to go to ballet. In a week where Thursday is the only nap he misses he is usually ok. Missing two naps is evidentally not ok.
This afternoon he fell asleep on the sofa at about 5pm and we woke him up for tea at 20 past. I won’t be doing that again in a hurry. I don’t know what set him off but by half past he was out of control and I had to take him upstairs to try and calm him down. He was, as I’ve said, hitting himself, kicking out and screaming. He didn’t try to bite me when I carried him up, for which I’m grateful, but once we got upstairs he wouldn’t let me touch him.
After about 20 minutes I walked out of his bedroom and shut the door, in despair. I just didn’t know what to do to calm him down, everything I said or did just seemed to be fuel for his fire. As soon as I shut the door his tone of voice changed to that of a hysterically upset, but not angry anymore, child and he called out to me. I opened his door, picked him up and he sobbed in my arms for another 10 minutes before he calmed down enough to talk to me.
I don’t know if it was me walking out on him or if his temper had just run its course. I’m not sure I want to go through that again to find out.
So, in conclusion, today I learnt that when I see this on my sofa,
I’ll leave well alone.
I get this a lot with Max… it’s scary when he just won’t stop! Best thing I can do is put him upstairs in our bedroom with some cartoons on the tv and shut the door. Calms him down in seconds!
I have blogged in the past about how scary MIni’s tamtrums were and still can be. They just dont have the capacity to control them and it has been a real learning curve for us.
yep, a lesson well learnt. If it helps it most certainly is normal, they all do it. What might not help is the fact that it gets worse and goes on for years.
walking out (once they are safe) only and best option. they have to burn it out by themself.
I myself is just entering the realm. I never thought parenthood would be so challenging, well I guess I dit but I imagined the challenges of a different sort and we I saw that being going on in other families before i had mine I always thought it would certainly be different for me ah ah ah ah ah! The challenges just shift as they grow but remain, so do the profound joys, don’t they? The big challenge for me is for my patience to grow stronger sometimes it gets really thin and that can be scary too.
Bon courage ;D
It’s scary stuff isn’t it. It doesn’t happen that often with ours, but when it does – blimey. And I’m convinced they have no control over it
sometimes Oscar will fall asleep on the sofa at 5pm and I just move him to his bed.